On Loneliness and Insecurity

There are moments where loneliness strikes so hard. You can be out with a friend the whole day, but just one hour into getting home and you're disconsolate.

Why does this happen? How can this feeling rise up with such dependability? Why is it that your social life doesn't seem to ward it off?

Maybe we're asking the wrong questions. Perhaps it is just part of the human condition.

My years of still feeling lost despite aggressive, high-quality socialisation suggests this question is hard to answer.

Maybe the route is to ask what we can do inspite of this. How can we overcome this feeling? Can we function well? Or maybe we could soften the emotional blow.

I think one answer is to realise this is just a passing mood. Of course, it assumes that you do have a functional life - and that this is just incongruous with your day-to-day experience.

Another response is to engage with forced, scheduled, rituals. For example, taking a run, exercising (to a good sweat) daily, or writing posts on the internet until your emotions have drained out of you.

And the last method would be to engage and lean into growth. Perhaps there are things that you want to do? Well go and aggressively pursue them. Perhaps it is not so much loneliness as it is the subconscious fear that your life is not all that it could be. Here are my ideal pursuits: the making of music, poetry, rap (which could be the same thing?), good literature, engaging with people philosophically, and building things that matter.

Extra Survial Tips

'This too shall pass' is a last resort, albeit a dependable route to stability. Listening to alternate rock seems to bleed the emotion out well.

An interesting observation: my anger at the world and forthright desire to see greatness comes out soon after these periods of despondency. Is it a survival mechanism to fall back on rage? But it does seem like genuine rage. It is my default mode of being, after all.  

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